The Daily Ray

time to move on

2010-07-02T16:13:00.000-07:00

update your links and your feeds and please join me here:

http://busyhandsquietmind.com/journal/

groove

2010-02-19T13:39:00.000-08:00

Main Entry: ¹groove

Pronunciation: \ˈgrüv\

Function: noun

a pronounced enjoyable rhythm

this and that

2009-12-08T22:55:00.000-08:00

maybe it's time for a new post?

whatd'ya say?

There has been so much going on around here these days. Let's see since my last post - 1 dog was bit by a black widow and survived. 1 dog tore open his side, had 3 surgeries and survived. 1 momma participated in a different craft show almost every single weekend and survived. 1 baby has gotten 4 molars and survived (not to mention grown unbelievably cute and smart). 1 daddy worked his tail off and helped momma with all her craft fairs and survived.

Thanksgiving was perfect.

My craft fair, Handmade Saturday was great.

My birthday (hello 29) was beyond perfect.

Just this week:

Now there is tons of snow on the ground - sigh - I love it when it snows.

Our pipes are frozen and have been for the past 2 days. I actually melted snow on the stove today to wash the dishes...

I can't even count how many silhouette orders I have this season. It's above and beyond a ton. Daddy's taking next week off from work and I think we'll have to teach Ray how to ship necklaces.

What can I say, life is good.

the fruits of my labors

2009-08-28T19:23:00.000-07:00

one of those days

2009-08-28T19:04:00.000-07:00

salty : sweet

hurry for sale : 10 cents

2009-08-16T11:07:00.000-07:00

I am [still] reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. I try to sneak a little bit of it in whenever I can. I just read this really fantastic part that I thought I'd share with you:

"... whenever the religion of time-saving pushes me to zip through a meal or a chore, rushing everybody out the door to the next point on a schedule. All that hurry can blur the truth that life is a zero-sum equation. Every minute I save will get used on something else, possibly no more sublime than staring at the newel post trying to remember what I just ran upstairs for. On the other hand, attending to the task in front of me - even a quotidian chore - might make it into a part of a good day, rather than just a rock in the road to someplace else."

I think I'll put my hurry up for sale. Any takers?

table for one

2009-08-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

This may seem ridiculous but would it be too much to have a small library in my bathroom?

This seems to be the only place where I get to read anymore. Besides in bed at night but that puts me to sleep in 2 seconds flat and I never remember what I just read.

My grandparents have a large bathroom in their basement, in which there is a huge floor to ceiling bookcase filled with old books. I don't know if that was always the shelves' purpose but I love it. I always try to visit this bathroom at least once while I'm there. I currently have out on loan an old Alfred Hitchcock thriller, which someday I will finish.

Anyway, I find that on some days the bathroom is my sanctuary. I can take a long hot shower and shave both my legs or I can sit and read, I've even been known to bring my laptop and just zone out on the web for a little while (don't laugh, you know you do it too) and all this without the pitter patter of little feet. Of course that's only when Daddy's home, otherwise I have to leave the door open.

Did I mention that Ray learned how to take the caps off of pens last week? That was a fun bathroom visit. I had squiggles and lines all up and down my thighs...

Well, whether it is a porcelain throne or a soft downy armchair I believe each of us deserves our own space from time to time.

same tune, different song

2009-08-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

We're on a new nap routine lately. It's called the "damned-if-I-will-ever-sleep-again" plan. I'm not sure where Ray picked it up but he sure learned it quickly. The poor guy is dog tired and he would rather do anything instead of sleep.

This is all curious because for 2 glorious days I actually had him taking 2 naps a day. Yes, 2 naps. One in the morning and one in the evening. It was lovely. Not because of the free time it gave me but because when he was awake he was outrageously wonderful and cute. Happy and bubbly, not a frown in sight.

Today, not so much.

Here's a new little ditty momma made up while trying to put him down for his morning nap:

little monkeys need to rest

so that they can play their best.

little monkeys need to sleep

not to scream and shout and weep.

little monkeys need to nap

so that mommy doesn't snap.

(repeat, like a mantra, over and over and over and over...)

and we're walking...

2009-08-12T08:31:00.001-07:00

and we're walking..., originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

five.

2009-07-29T15:06:00.000-07:00

Five little wobbly steps.

Three uncertain shuffles as soon as Dad left the room and two much braver strides when he returned.

Congrats my little man.

Affluenza. Or why Whitney is slowly turning into an old man.

2009-07-29T13:58:00.000-07:00

We are remodeling our kitchen.

Which means it is the perfect time to buy a new 8 foot long antique cabinet for the studio.

Which means it's a great opportunity to finally organize and clean the studio, until it is just so.

Which, of course, means that it is a great time to rearrange my son's room.

Which means my house and my life have fallen into complete disarray.

Of course.

I am on the other side of the tunnel today.

Kitchen: built pantry, sold island, rearranged furniture, purged until all remaining items will fit in a reasonable amount of cabinet space. Chugging forward. Slowly but surely.

Ray's room was a quick fix, move the dresser, pivot the crib et voila! 10x more play room.

My studio. Ouf. That's not really a word but that is the sound I make when I think about the fact that I am still not done cleaning and sorting and purging and organizing. Almost, but not quite.

So far I have purged one complete car load of stuff. About 3 large trash bags full of trash and 4 bags full of recycling. Among all of this debris, all of this clutter, I have come to the realization that I am a hoarder. A pack rat. I'm the old man with 27 baby food jars full of random screws and nails.

This.

This troubles me more than anything else in this world. I never really stopped to think about all the extra weight I keep piling onto my mind and my body by never saying no when I am offered a box of old things. By never thinking do I really need this now?

No, my philosophy has always been, "oh, but I might need that 6" x 8.35" piece of black plastic someday" and "you never know, this vintage plug/phone line adapter, that might come in handy..." I have extras of my extras and backups for my backups. Enough is enough.

But wait here's the kicker: I spend even more time worrying about selling all of the no-longer-needed-things than all of this put together! Naturally, I blame eBay and her hippy brother Craigslist. I can see the inherent value in any given thing. It might only be a penny but I know it has value. Where I seem to go wrong is in making it my problem that this item and it's respective value get put into the right hands.

So here are a few things I have learned in this past week or two. Maybe you can glean a little wisdom from them, maybe they'll just make you laugh. Either one is fine with me:

1. Do not go shopping with someone that you feel even the teeniest bit of competition towards. Trust me you will come home with bags and bags of crap you do not need. And honestly it'll all be stuff that just makes you feel bad because you bought it with the wrong intentions.

2. Do not work at a store you would shop at. I've now made this mistake twice and I have all the rubber stamps to prove it.

3. Instead of asking yourself "hey, in this vast expanse of a world, is there a possible use for this item?" ask, "hey do I have a use for this item, right now in my life?"

4. Instead of thinking to yourself "ooh, but I could sell that." Think, "NO NO NO. I will not buy another useless item because someone else might want to buy it from me." (This one's personal. Your main source of income might very well be selling things on eBay and that's great, I used to do that too.)

5. There's an old saying that has come back into fashion these days and I don't think it's half bad. "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without."

My new mantra.

6. And last but not least. Even if you spend your money on a kajillion used items and thrift store finds versus one brand-new shirt. $50 is $50 (right dad?)

I think the really deep meaning I've come to find in all of this is that for me personally, when life is in the pits and things are uncertain I used to feel reassured and calmed by my things. When life is grand and only getting better, I don't really need all that junk anymore.

on the menu

2009-07-25T21:47:00.000-07:00

::Thursday was the Crazy Ivan salad with Citrusy Black Bean Soup.

Lettuce - fresh from the garden

Onions - from the garden

Roasted Baby Beets - Wolf Moon Farm via the Food Co-op

Goat cheese - Haystack Mountain

Pepitas (pumpkin seeds) - bulk co-op

Molasses-Balsamic vinagrette - recipe here

Soup - StaceyP, the magician behind the underground soup co-op

::Friday was Steak Salad with Gorgonzola and New Potatoes and Green Beans.

Lettuce - le jardin chez nous

Elk Steak - hunting last season

New Potatoes - grocery store

Gorgonzola - grocery store

Green Beans - Jess' Garden

::And today...

Buttermilk Pancakes with Momma's Apricot Jam (which the dogs stole off the counter - Rats!)

Egg salad sandwiches and left over potatoes.

::Other sweet treats tested lately:

Honey Nutters - SO GOOD. Best airplane food ever.

Cupcakes with Chocolate Frosting - best recipe for cupcakes yet.

Punitions - French punishment cookies

Tomorrow Cherry Clafoutis, as soon as I can find my pitter...

new post.

2009-07-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

We went on vacation.

The first vacation we have been on since our honeymoon 2 years ago (happy anniversary love). And it really wasn't so much of a vacation, it was a long weekend away from the house with everyone in Luke's family.

This was a pretty low budget, quick little vacation and it's funny but we really did have a great time just being with each other. We hiked and explored and played in the water. It was really fun. I can't think of two other people I would have rather been with.

You can see all of the other vacation photos over there -> on flickr.

Bon Anniversaire!

2009-07-06T23:05:00.001-07:00

a very special happy birthday to my momma.

we love you.

note to self

2009-07-04T23:15:00.000-07:00

Hi self, I'm going to repeat this in case you didn't hear me the first time:

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. -Helen Keller

Small but grand accomplishments lately:

*new faux bois pants for Ray

I embroidered the left leg with a heart with an arrow through it and an R in the middle.

*I made Ray another pair of pants - in red, white and blue stripes - just call me patriotic.

*I made a new small zippered bag today, with my new oilcloth.

*I moved my zucchini from the front flower bed to underneath the corn (supposed to be good at deterring the buggers that like to crawl up the corn).

*I staked my tomatoes and gave my beans some new strings to climb up.

*I planted my new Ichiban Eggplant and my last pepper.

*I moved my lemon basil, which seems to be doing better these days.

*I planted my beets, swiss chard, spinach and some more radishes along the side of the house.

*I sold the display cabinet that used to sit where our new PANTRY is being built.

*I made the yummiest tuna salad for dinner (I added 1/2 a cucumber and a bunch of green beans) with fresh berries for dessert.

And my to-do list continues...

Bathtime

2009-07-04T21:26:00.001-07:00

"Fun is about as good a habit as there is."

—Jimmy Buffet

More new photos on Flickr.

what's in a name?

2009-07-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I have these small, mini-life-crises; wherein which I struggle to define myself with a title.

Mother, Wife, Daughter.

Artist, Crafter, Creator.

Artisan, Chef and Gardner.

Friend, Companion, Tourist.

I suppose these titles are all worthy and plenty. They don't fit on a resume; but I don't even have a resume. Besides a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.

Daily Log ~ Dlog?

2009-07-01T21:24:00.000-07:00

Ray bear is still getting up in the wee hours of the morn. Usually around 3am but lately it's been twice a night. I could go for a full night's rest. But it's getting hot here and I never sleep very well when it's so hot. Yes, we have AC but it's still not the same.

I worked out in the garden all morning. Put the cucumbers out. Planted the sweet corn. Pulled weeds and thought about where to plant all the rest of my new flowers. I discovered that I have purslane growing in my garden beds, a pretty common "weed" I understand, but also edible and delicious! Chock full of vitamins, minerals and more omega 3 than any other leafy vegetable.

This had me thinking, hmm.. what else can I eat out here. So we went to the Library and I got a couple of books on foraging and eating "wild" foods. Yum! Yum!

That was about it for today. Ray bear is seriously considering walking and I need to seriously baby-proof! I'll tackle that tomorrow.

We've been going on bike rides early in the mornings before it gets too hot. My new bike trailer is awesome! And I really like being active.

I re-stacked the wood pile yesterday and Fat ol' Charlie bear, a.k.a. the-escape-artist is still finding a way out. I think I'm onto him though and I should be able to block his route.

Busted out the crochet hook today. I'm going to make a new net-like tote bag. I'll post some pics. New things in two of my etsy shops. My debut as a fashion model :)

More dlog tomorrow. I figure if I can't think of something deep and insightful to say I should at least write about what's filling my days.

Ernie?

2009-06-19T22:16:00.000-07:00

A new addition to the family. I'm thinking his name should be Ernie, because it sounds like the word Ear and his ears are my favorite part of him. I made him from a vintage pattern I found at a thrift store. He's a mix of old and new fabric. I added the tie. I think it makes him look dapper and distinguished. He still needs a pair of shorts. They're on my cutting table right now, along with a matching pair for Ray.

one step

2009-06-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

First steps today thanks to this fantastic new gift from Ray's auntie Jennifer.

blackout

2009-06-19T21:57:00.000-07:00

The power went out the other night and besides giving us all the perfect excuse to go to bed early, I was able to catch a couple candle-lit shots of the little man.

oh, go take a hike!

2009-06-18T21:40:00.000-07:00

And so we did.

ray with buddy parker

race you to the top.

too cute. just too darn cute.

luscious chaos

2009-06-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

Great story up at story people today:

"I'm beginning to think peace is something we made up to keep us from being satisfied with all this luscious chaos"

infatuated

2009-06-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I love you so much that I just want to fold you up and carry you around in my pocket.

helping hand

2009-06-08T22:13:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I just wish someone would tell me "hey, I think you are doing the right thing." It doesn't matter what the thing is, I think a little reassurance goes a long way.

daily quote

2009-06-03T13:30:00.000-07:00

"If you can organize your kitchen, you can organize your life." -Louis Parrish

I am so screwed.

happy birthday my boy

2009-05-29T10:15:00.001-07:00

Birthday no. 1

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” -Mary Oliver

"Alice laughed: 'There's no use trying,' she said; 'One can't believe impossible things.' 'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.'

-Alice in Wonderland.

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn't, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."

-Shel Silverstein

"You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything." -Winnie the Pooh

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." -Dr. Seuss

"The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful."

-E.E. Cummings

Happy birthday my sunshine Y

These things I've learned

2009-05-26T18:32:00.001-07:00

So,

(I like to start my posts this way because it makes me feel like I haven't been away, like I'm just starting a great story mid-sentence...)

So anyway, It's been a um. hectic past month.

I don't even really know where to start. I guess I'll begin with what's bugging me most.

I trusted someone and I let them into my personal life and they turned out to be a bad friend. I don't know how I missed this one. I don't know why I didn't see the flashing lights. I know it's dead and over with but I'm having a hard time fully letting it go. I find myself driving down the street replaying our last conversation in my head and feeling my blood pressure rise until I am all riled up and ready to fight... My husband thinks that like any relationship it will just take some time to get over but I still feel very angry about the whole situation, which isn't like me at all. Maybe that's what pisses me off the most, the negative-ness of it all. I think I need to forgive her. I'm sure this would all go away and I would feel better if I could just forgive her. But it's hard...

note to self: work on forgiving her.

Other than that I went to France for 2 weeks with Ray to see my mom and dad and it was incredible. I had a small craft fair on May 1st and a big craft fair on May 2nd. Both went well. My necklaces were in the May issue of Better Homes and Gardens (eek) and my computer almost crashed when I got bombarded with orders for silhouettes for Mother's day. I averaged about 4 hours of sleep every night the week before Mother's day and the orders are still coming in. I had another craft fair on May 16th which also went well. We finished building and planting the garden beds and we installed a drip system. All that's left is the mulch and the sod and the tree.

Ray will be turning one on Friday.

one.

And motherhood's still the best gig I have.

I was here

2009-04-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

Do you ever find yourself stopping for just a split second and thinking "What the hell am I doing?" (I'm personally talking creative-wise. Not life or love-wise.) I was browsing through Etsy, looking at handmade dresses when it happened to me. I don't know why I sew. I really can't put my finger on it. I just wake up everyday and feel like I need to make something and right now sewing is my outlet.

I've been thinking a lot lately about why I make things. I feel like there is a strong DIY current that runs under all of the kids my age, which I am very thankful for, but where do you draw the line? For that matter, is there even a line? I'm talking about the difference between craft and crap. I am thankful for every person who makes things but lately I've been questioning the value of making things for a buck versus making things because one must.

I came to the conclusion that the reason I make things and the reason I support handmakers is all about choice. When I look at something that is beautiful I notice all of the choices that the artist made while creating that piece. Because really that's what art is all about, our choices. A decision to put red next to blue.

I make things because I have to. I can't be who I am without it. And I hope that someday, someone will look at something I've made and not only recognize my choices but love them as much as I do. So I guess whether it's sewing clothes or making jewelry. Building terrariums or assembling collages. It doesn't really matter. The point is that I am leaving my mark on this world and as small as it might be it's mine.

All mine.

eastern mountain ray zone

2009-03-31T07:34:00.000-07:00

Time is such an odd thing. At one point in my life I remember actually wishing summer would hurry up and end so that I could go back to school and see my friends everyday. And now I can feel the days slipping by. Ray has 2 teeth coming in and a third daring to cut through. He really made me laugh on this one. Back at months 4 and 5 I remember all the other yoga mom's babes were getting there first teeth and so every cantankerous outburst of Ray's became the latest sign of teething. Months of me sticking my finger in his mouth trying to feel the first signs of those two bottom teeth. Lo and behold my boy decided to do things his own way and he went for the right front tooth first. Personally, I've always loved that tooth, I think it was an excellent choice. Well, not to be outdone the bottom left decided to make an appearance next. And now, it's the left front that's floating dangerously close to the surface. Here I was waiting for him to get his teeth just like every other babe when I should have remembered that he doesn't do anything 'just like every other babe'. And I really like it that way.

a stitch in time

2009-03-25T21:34:00.000-07:00

I've been so busy lately that I haven't had the time to stop and write, much less think about what to write. I stitched my way into a frenzy last week and it all culminated with the Fashion Denver spring show on Saturday. In the end I did well but I didn't do as well as I wanted. The amount of work I put in to all of the clothing I made wasn't really proportionate to the amount of green bills I got in return. Oh well, some days are like that. My dad had a good bit of advice, he said that even though I may not have seen the return I wanted right now, I could very well have set things in motion for an even larger return later. Ah dads, they sure are good at making you feel better about yourself.

Here's a couple photos of our booth and some of my clothes:

from right to left (ish)

funny leg warmers, my friend Jess's beautiful hand-knit scarves, my favorite green dress (sold), my beautiful brown dress, my grey military-esque skirt, my brown knit dress, my floral dress, my lace shrug...)

booth shot. One of our mascot deer. Susan's awesome outfit in the back.

wide booth shot. My dress on the left, also looks smashing worn as a skirt.

All in all it was a good time. I'm still a little worn out from our sewing marathon but I have a bunch of new ideas brewing for spring! No rest for the creatives.

Isn't that the truth?!

anything but this.

2009-03-13T10:38:00.000-07:00

I was on facebook checking the Handmade Militia group status when I saw it.

"FCHS 1999 reunion"

There it was in all it's sans-serif glory. Staring right back at me. Taunting me. Judging me.

Reunion?

10 years?

There was a tightening in my chest, my breath becoming shallow.

Oh God.

I started scrolling through the members...

yep. yep. I knew you. mm hmm, you too.

Then an overwhelming feeling came over me...

PANIC!

I vacillate.

I didn't actually graduate from FCHS in 1999 because my family moved to France and I graduated high school over there. So I don't know if I am technically invited which when I think about that I feel slightly relieved and then on the other hand I feel a teeny-tiny bit upset that I wouldn't be invited but if I was invited I wouldn't go, but because I may not be invited I have the smallest inclination to attend.

oh high school, you with your vainglorious grip on my heart.

what's a girl to do?

(don't go)

(go)

(don't go)

sidenote

2009-03-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

I stand by the saying that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

I had an early meeting in town this morning and afterwards I popped into a nearby coffee shop because they sell these delicious concoctions called breggos. I haven't been able to find them anywhere else in town and this particular coffee shop keeps very odd hours so you can imagine how delighted I was to 1) see them open and 2) think about a delicious, warm breakfast. Well I walked up to the counter and asked if they had any Breggos and the guy working went off about how they were a terrible company and he will never do business with them again. He actually said "Now I never badmouth other businesses..." and then went on and on about how awful they were. He tried to sell me a breakfast burrito ("made with olive oil and fresh eggs") But I had to politely tell him that I really was in the mood for a Breggo. I left feeling disappointed that they didn't have any breggos but his bad attitude left me feeling more awkward than disappointed. Now if he would have just said "oh, sorry we don't carry those anymore" I would have left feeling just slightly disappointed. It's funny the difference a few mean words can make on someone not even related to the situation.

note to self: people don't like to hear about bad situations or negative emotions.

especially me.

I have friends

2009-03-12T21:04:00.001-07:00

yep. I have made new friends. Lots of them actually, and I have to say that life is pretty sweet with friends. I've been spending a lot of time with one in particular of my new friends, she is actually my new partner, helping me run the Handmade Militia. We have a lot in common and we both like to make stuff, which is great. I forgot how nice it was to have someone to bounce ideas off of. Don't get me wrong, my husband is great at listening to me and helping me make decisions but sometimes you just want some one to take one look at you and say "um, no". Then there are no hurt feelings, you do a double take and think to yourself "you know, she's right". So anyway, hug a friend for me today and thank the stars for getting to share your life with cool people who understand you.

homonym

2009-03-12T20:31:00.000-07:00

I'm thrifty.

I like to buy things at the cheapest price (while not sacrificing quality) that I can possibly find them. There's some part of predator/prey drive in me that gets excited when I find something at a rock bottom price. "ha ha, you remote-digital-thermometer-with-alarm; I know you think you are worth $25.95 but I am only going to pay $8.88 for you!"

I'm part of this online group/site called freecycle. Do you know about freecycle? It's like craigslist only everything is free. Let me tell you there is a lot of junk out there in the world and even more frightening, there is someone out there who actually wants your junk.

"Half eaten box of cereal. wasn't that good. nothing wrong with it".

I mean really?

Personally, I've always been a fan of reading people's screen names. There's JM2009, mom2five and countryBarb. Harmless, semi-normal. But then there's skinayoteef and dumpsterdiva. Um... The worst one I have ever seen has to be ilikecrack. I don't care what they're giving away, I'm not interested.

Anyway, right now I'm in line for a vintage sewing machine and I'm on the look out for a bike trailer for carting the little one around town this summer. You should have a look, at the least you'll probably read something that will make you chuckle.

"Stroller duel, seats two, like new."

I'm so there.

our gretta girl

2009-02-26T07:53:00.000-08:00

Gone to that great game of fetch in the sky.

We miss you.

one foot after the other

2009-02-17T22:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I still feel like my body is not my own. Not so much that I'm not in my body but I just don't recognize it all the time.

My feet seem to have aged. I always felt like I had delicate, little girl feet and now when I look down they are still small but they seem older. More stable maybe. The toes spread out a little further, the arches sit a little flatter. They're good feet and I've always been thankful for that.

Sometimes I still can't believe I gave birth to a baby. And that that baby is now 8 months old. I'm a momma.

I have a kid.

I think I need a beer.

I love being a mom, I feel very lucky getting to work at home and be with Ray all the time. Lately he's been very content to just have me near him while he plays. I lay on the floor next to him and he plays with his books and his poker chips. We read about T'choupi and how he doesn't want to go to bed. He has the coolest, big wooden fire truck with a real ladder and a hose and everything. He loves to take the top off of the cab part and then the ladder off of the back. Then he sits there and puts stuff in the truck bed, then takes it back out. When he's not looking I sneak the top back onto the cab part of the truck and he gets this funny little puckered up face when he sees it sitting there. So then he carefully takes it back off again. It's our little game. Eventually he gives up and rolls the entire truck over and starts chewing on the tires.

I live for these moments. Watching him explore and examine. I'm amazed by his attention to detail. He can sit with the most ordinary of objects and look them like they are the most fascinating things he's ever seen. The other morning he kept reaching for the tag hanging from my tea bag, so I pulled it off and gave it to him. He carried that little green tag around with him all day. He'd sit there and look at it and then flip it over with those clumsy little fingers of his and look at it some more. Then he'd drop it and forget about it only to find it again later and be mesmerized by it all over again.

I always knew the good stuff was in the small stuff.

Saint-Valentin

2009-02-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

"Love is love.

All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.

Everything is, everything exists, only because I love."

-Leo Tolstoy

pretty bones

2009-02-11T21:21:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite memories growing up has to be helping my mom organize her closet. She would ask me to come sit with her and tell her which clothes I liked and which ones were 'like, so last season'. I'd sit there, on the floor in her closet, and I remember she could tell just by the look on my face whether something was worth keeping or not. After we'd gone through each piece of clothing we'd go back and mix and match them all together, coming up with enough outfits for the next month. My favorite part was (and still is) how her closet smelled. My mom has the most wonderful smelling perfumes and lotions and her closet smelled just like them with a nickel sized dollop of her shampoo thrown in.

I wish I had somebody to help me do that. Do you ever feel like you are trying to wear someone else's clothes? Do you know what I mean? Like your clothes are really meant for the person you wish you were, or simply even the person you used to be.

I realize I have no idea what looks good on me. I have no idea what's in style this season. I can look through the pages of anthropologie or toast (the british version of anthro) and it all looks great, but when I actually go to the store and try something on it always disappoints. I'm trying something new in my closet, I can't remember where I read about it, but you turn all of your hangers backwards (I guess that assumes that all of your hangers were facing the same way to start with.. but I digress) Then when you wear one of the pieces of clothing you flip the hanger back around. That way you can actually see what you wear and what you just think you wear. It's actually pretty cool. I started it at new years. I know, I'm pretty dorky like that.

Anyway. Here's my theory on the store Anthropologie:

(side note: I think it used to be way better before Gap bought it.)

Once upon a time, this past Christmas season, I finally made it to the new Anthropologie store in a nearby town and I was so excited because it had been years since I had physically stepped foot in the store. At first glance everything was wonderful. There were sweaters with hand stitched details and skirts with appliques. I saw pants that screamed "You will have a cute butt in me" and there was a general sense of happy embellishment about the place.

Then I saw the tees and the tees grounded me. They ripped me right off my happy felted, chainstich embroidered cloud.

I did a double take. "They're how much?" Plain old t-shirts that must be expensive just because they have a nice tag in them. The prices were starting to haunt me...

"Look smaller, look smaller" I told myself, "Surely you'll find something you can afford".

There were tiny stuffed ornaments to the left and glittery garlands to the right.

Then, in one artificially lit moment it dawned on me that none of this stuff was truly handmade. Ok, sure it was handmade by someone sitting in a factory, but that person was chucking out hundreds of these things every day. Where's the originality? Where's the love?

And that's when the store suddenly became very depressing. I wouldn't be buying something special, I'd be buying some thing.

I ventured back to the sale room (crazy, I know) and once safely tucked inside I heard the words that drove the final nail into my new wardrobe coffin. "I know, I really like it too, do you really think I should get it?" 'It' being a sweater. "You know I already have this one in blue and yellow..."

Aaaaaahhhhh! I left as quickly as I had come in.

And so, on that fateful day, my love affair with the slightly askew yet still perfectly staged, vintage-esque store had come to an end. I'll be honest, I still flirt with the catalog from time to time but I don't think we'll ever meet in person again.

body language

2009-02-05T13:12:00.000-08:00

I have a bruise on my leg in the shape of a heart.

I think it's my thighs' way of telling me they love me.

no, seriously

2009-02-03T07:45:00.000-08:00

I have become a control freak.

A serious, grouchy, control freak.

I have a very big 'bad mood hangover' this morning. So bad, that I'm feeling guilty about how crabby I was with my husband last night. In retrospect he was doing everything he could think of to make me happy and I just wasn't having any of it.

I don't know what my problem is. I'm really not a very serious person but lately I find myself taking life and everything in my day-to-day existence as if it were a life or death decision.

I'm also finding myself getting upset when something [or someone] disrupts my seriousness. "How can you not take this seriously? There is a pile for the mail right here. It does not go over there!"

Ugh. what a bore.

I really need to lighten up.

I remember last summer when I heard Rahima Baldwin Dancy speak at our local sustainability fair, she is the author of the book "You Are Your Child's First Teacher" (a book I own and have still not read), she said that being a mother [and a wife] takes a lot out of you and you need to stop and take time to refill the well. She said that a happy mom is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. She went on to talk about how there is a specific type of energy that children zap from us and some of the best ways to replenish it are to do something creative or spend time in nature.

I think my well has run dry.

I keep making things and doing things in the name of being creative and giving myself some time, but I've been looking at all of those things as entries on my to-do list. Things that need to be completed and the sooner the better. I need to do something for the sake of, for the love of, for the art of doing it, not for the final product.

For me, that is so much easier said than done.

I never thought I'd type these words, but I think the stress over this crappy economy is sneaking in. It's making our tempers shorter and probably contributes to my overall seriousness. I guess I feel like I'm wasting my time if I'm not making something I can sell or doing something that will make me some money.

Jeez, I might as well work a desk job.

I have the greatest life. I get to hang out with my son everyday and watch him grow and learn, minute by minute. And meanwhile, I get to make things that people actually like and want to give me money for. If that's not enough I have the choice to spend my day doing whatever it is that I please.

I guess things aren't so bad when you look at it that way.

I'll end on a lighter note.

A classic, that gets me every time

I need a vacation

2009-02-02T21:17:00.000-08:00

what is it about this time of year that turns the dial way up on the blah-o-meter?

I baked a delicious loaf of bread - blah

The sun is shining brightly - blah

I can't even think of what to write next.

I think I'll go to bed and start this post again tomorrow.

[blah]

right now

2009-01-23T08:29:00.000-08:00

it's starting to snow.

the dogs are playing hide and seek with the horse that lives behind us.

i'm finishing up a few silhouette pendants.

and ray bear is quietly playing.

no, not really

2009-01-20T12:34:00.000-08:00

so whip up has been having all of these studio profiles on their site lately and I have to say I am tired of looking at immaculate, perfectly organized spaces. I don't work like that, even if I did, who has time to keep their studio that clean? No offense to the owners of said studios but I thought I'd show you some pictures of my studio, just the way it is.

Sewing table but currently hijacked for the purpose of making new journals.

Sewing corner and the other half of the bookshelf is dedicated to old moldy books and half finished projects.

More sewing table and bookshelf. Back corner is computer nook and table to the left is the 'jewelry table'. Notice the chair in the middle of the photo? No, not the green one. If it wasn't covered in fabric you could see it and you would say "my, that is one lovely chair" I would reply, "thank you, I bought it at a thrift store for $12. It is one of my absolute favorites finds ever."

This chair is the bane of my husband's existence. The other day in fact, he turned to me and said, "you know what my favorite part of your studio is?" I said "no, please do tell" and he said "the fact that that ugly chair isn't in the house anymore." ah. true love.

'jewelry table' on right and 'mixed media table' on the left. mixed media area is especially messy because I had to take everything down out of the window to fix/shut the window the other day and it hasn't been put back yet.

The photos are blurry and sort of bad but I just walked around with my mac and took them.

So there you have it, a real, working studio (wink wink).

Trust me, I know where (almost) everything is.

And if I don't know exactly where it is then I know what area it's in.

And even if I don't know what area it's in, I always know for sure that it's out in the studio.

invisible strings

2009-01-15T09:33:00.001-08:00

I get daily quotes sent to me by email and this one really captured my attention.

"When you tug at a single thing in nature, you find it attached to the rest of the world. "

— John Muir

Can't you just see the invisible strings?

I'd love to do an art piece based on this quote.

I imagine a little boy wading in a river picking up a rock and I'm seeing the water still connected to the rock, seeing the strings of sand running all the way back up the bank to the trees roots and then up the tree trunk, out the branches to the leaves, which are connected to the birds flying over head, which are connected to another tree further down stream et cetera et cetera...

16 things about me

2009-01-14T22:07:00.000-08:00

found a new blog:

ordinary courage

fell in love with the name and decided to join her in a friendly game of tag.

1. I hate nothing in this world, with the exception of water chestnuts.

2. I remember things in pictures. probably not a true photographic memory but still.

3. I bite my nails.

4. I don't exactly love football but if you name a town I can name the NFL team.

5. Me and Ray dance together at least once everyday.

6. I feel claustrophobic when there is someone behind me in line at the grocery store. I think it's partly the fact that their food is so close to mine. And the magazine racks are so close. It's like a funnel.

7. I was named after a ballerina my mom knew in college. In my whole life I have had only one person say "you mean like the museum?" instead of "you mean like whitney houston?"

8. When I can't sleep I rub my feet together under the covers.

9. I have broken both of my wrists.

10. I like to eat peanut butter with carrots.

11. I love looking at the stars. I think it is fascinating that they are so far away, that when we see them we are in fact looking into the past.

12. When I eat, I tend to keep all of the different foods on my plate from touching. I don't know why I just always have.

13. I don't rinse my dishes before I put them in the dishwasher.

14. I get a stomach ache if I drink cola or chew gum.

15. I like going to the airport because I think it's neat that so many people can be going places at the same time. I like to try and guess where they are going and why.

16. I count in my head when I get nervous or flustered.

You can't have me

2009-01-13T08:14:00.000-08:00

Awhile ago, after my cell phone was stolen I seriously considered getting an iPhone. I love them. I am so easily seduced by their clean simple lines and the promise of new and exciting "apps". My favorite? The one that tells you what song you are listening to when you hold the phone up to the radio. But the deal fell through (in retrospect, thankfully) and I found a free phone on freecycle instead.

Well, today I read this article and decided that no matter how alluring, no matter how sexy they are I will not own one.

Am I Still Here?

(thanks to SouleMama for the link)

You all know my love hate relationship with the internet.

I declare here and now that in 2009 the internet will be my tool.

And not vice versa.

to hell in a handbasket

2009-01-13T07:58:00.000-08:00

Right now my life is like the game jenga.

We're the strong tall tower of interlocking, balanced pieces and slowly but surely someone is pulling out the base from underneath us. We haven't fallen yet, but it seems inevitable.

I guess I always thought me and my husband would be immune to the free-falling economy.

I can make things! I can cook things! In my own head we practically live off the grid.

But here it is, knocking on my front door and not waiting for me to answer before it comes barging in.

Me still in my PJ's caught all deer-in -the-headlights style.

What? wait, no job?

Wait, what? the transmission went out in your truck?

I can't make a new one of those.

I can feed us and I can clothe us but the mortgage company doesn't take cookies.

There's an answer out there, just out of reach.

I think I'll go on a long walk today and try to find it.

two weeks

2009-01-11T20:22:00.000-08:00

Do you know the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut?

Two weeks.

I think I might have pushed the universe too far. On Friday I decided I wanted a haircut NOW. I went to this cute place I'd been eyeing. It was about 1:00 and she said she could get me in at 3:45. I stopped by one other salon on the way home to see if they could get me in sooner but no luck. I thought about canceling the appointment a hundred times but decided to keep it and just get it done.

well...

It's not a bad cut. It's a great cut. Very well done. But short, oh so very short.

I keep re-playing it in my head over and over and I have no idea how it got this short.

I showed her a picture of what I wanted, the same picture I used last time, but this time it is so very, very short.

I'm still getting used to it. I feel very self conscious, like I have nowhere to hide. Not that my hair was very long before but I guess I just feel a little exposed. Honestly, it is growing on me, I still surprise myself in the mirror though. One of the strangest things is that it is all my natural color now. I usually have highlights or dye it blonde. I'm in denial about how brown my hair has become. My husband loves it. He keeps calling me his brown haired-blue eyed beauty. He said I look like a model.

I keep telling myself to just own up to it. Be the haircut. Be bold, be confident.

But the other half of me thinks I should knit a new hat.

mondo beyondo

2009-01-10T23:50:00.000-08:00

I've been procrastinating in writing this post because I wanted to make sure I had just enough time and was in just the right mood, but that day will never come so I think it is better to just start. In retrospect, I think that is one of the most important things I have learned this year. Just let go, don't cling so tightly to the plan. Just do. Just be.

...

In the year 2008 I learned:

a lot.

I had a baby, I have been learning things every minute of every day.

I've learned that I am stronger, wiser and more patient than I thought I could be.

I learned that it is always best to listen to your gut.

I've learned that the smell of baby poop first thing in the morning is probably the grossest thing on earth.

I've learned that having a child is a fantastic, wonderful, magical thing.

Most importantly though, I learned that my heart can hold an infinite amount of love.

...

10 things I am grateful for:

my husband.

my son.

my brother.

my mom.

my dad.

my inlaws.

a roof over my head.

my backyard sanctuary and the horned skull that guards it.

my studio and all the crap that fills it.

my brain and all of it's never-ending ideas.

...

In 2009 I want to:

Build a chicken coop and raise chickens.

Plant a food garden.

Ride my bike more.

Build an earth stove.

Bake bread.

Make more of my own clothes.

Spend more time outdoors.

my man

2009-01-09T10:13:00.001-08:00

Jan28, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

I love the afternoon light in winter. It's warm but cool and crystal clear. I took mr. man for a walk to the nearby lake yesterday and it turned into an impromptu photo shoot! There are tons of pictures on flickr but here are my favorites.

xo

almost a full smile

2009-01-09T10:12:00.001-08:00

Jan2, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

hello.

2009-01-09T10:11:00.003-08:00

Jan18, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

fascinated

2009-01-09T10:11:00.001-08:00

Jan21, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

hi momma

2009-01-09T10:10:00.003-08:00

Jan11, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

ooh bugs

2009-01-09T10:10:00.001-08:00

Jan3, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

baby blues

2009-01-09T10:09:00.001-08:00

Jan1, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

hammer and nail

2009-01-09T09:30:00.001-08:00

Table, originally uploaded by whitneyphippen.

(written yesterday, posted today)

Here I sit and it is now 1:53pm. Ray bear has been napping since about 11:00
So far today I have paid all of our bills. I cleaned the kitchen and made green eggs and ham. I cleaned up all the wind blown debris outside from yesterday.
Then as I was getting ready to start my latest project (building terrariums!) I realized that it would be best to do such a project in our mudroom. Unfortunately it is the least hospitable area in our home. But I started to clean and sweep and dust anyway when I realized what I really needed was table.

So I made a one!

It's a little crooked and maybe not perfect. But I love it and it will work great. I cleaned up the rest of our mudroom, carried all of my vessels and plants out there.

Soon to be terrariums:

I made some little goodies to put inside too:

I'll post more photos when they are finished.

the year of the babe

2008-12-30T10:19:00.000-08:00

Almost time for the mondo beyondo.

This will be dubbed the year of the babe.

I was strolling back through my calendar trying to figure out where the year went and then I realized that 'the year' is napping sweetly in my bed.

mr. december

2008-12-30T10:15:00.001-08:00

mr. december, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

velour.
that's what it is.

xo

close your mouth when you chew

2008-12-19T21:26:00.000-08:00

what's that?

oh, you were wondering what else the dogs could have possibly eaten lately?

here, have a seat and I'll tell you:

one rubber boot, size 6.5

4 servings of warm, homemade fettucine with chicken alfredo

1/3 of my morning latte

one delicious pinwheel cookie

kleenex

and one bag of dirty diapers

I know five big fat doggies who are getting nothing but coal in their stockings.

dear santa

2008-12-19T21:19:00.000-08:00

help! I'm drowning in toys...

doesn't he look like he's saying "I can't believe you guys think this is funny" ?

sailing the seven seas

2008-12-19T20:32:00.000-08:00

Crayon Pirate

There was a single blue line of crayon drawn across every wall in the house. What does it mean? I said. A pirate needs the sight of the sea, he said & then he pulled his eye patch down & turned and sailed away.

from StoryPeople

did I mention?

2008-12-16T22:45:00.000-08:00

did I mention that one of my silhouette necklaces is in the January issue of Country Living.

C O U N T R Y L I V I N G M A G A Z I N E

page 90.

I am swamped with christmas orders. I'm out in the studio all night, every night. And right now I'm just trying to perform a little brain drain before bed.

My craft fair was a smashing success and now I have all kinds of ideas on ways to elaborate this handmade militia thing...

Tomorrow I need to get started on my christmas presents.

Eight days. I'm so screwed.

day of rest

2008-12-15T13:56:00.000-08:00

Today's been pretty low key.

In the past 24 hours the dogs have only eaten

4.5 sticks of butter

2 vanilla snack packs (pudding)

1 entire bag of tortilla chips

1 partial bag of cornbread stuffing mix

1/2 bag of salt and vinegar potato chips

4 rotten hot dogs

and the rest of my elk jerky.

I guess it's not a ginsu

2008-12-11T10:55:00.000-08:00

So I've been seeing these cute ornaments all over the place:And I have a ton of empty PBR cans leftover from when my brother was here. So I thought, "hey, I can do that".

Nope, no I can't.

I just sliced my knuckle open trying to cut through a tin can.

damn.

a short photo essay on applesauce

2008-12-10T22:00:00.003-08:00

a little over here... a little over there..., originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

joy

2008-12-10T22:00:00.001-08:00

joy, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

sorry what?

2008-12-10T21:59:00.003-08:00

sorry what?, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

yes, your lap is the perfect place for the applesauce

2008-12-10T21:59:00.001-08:00

yes, your lap is the perfect place for the applesauce, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

ray bear a.k.a. little man

2008-12-02T21:24:00.000-08:00

tons of new photos on the flickr site

here's a few of my favorites...

ah, my love

2008-12-02T21:23:00.003-08:00

ah, my love, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

this little piggy

2008-12-02T21:23:00.001-08:00

this little piggy, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

yay pumpkin soup!

2008-12-02T21:21:00.001-08:00

yay pumpkin soup!, originally uploaded by whitney leigh.

I've been robbed

2008-12-02T20:24:00.000-08:00

Seriously.

Someone stole my cell phone and my iPod nano out of my car today.

I went out to lunch with a friend and my car was parked right in front of the restaurant.

Now before you start asking "oh, well, was your car locked??"

No.

No it wasn't.

I have a karma security system installed on all of my possessions. I've always figured that if someone wants to steal something of mine, fine. Well, today somebody decided to take me up on that.

We ate at a restaurant near campus so I am ignorantly assuming that it was a poor student who took my things. I think that whomever they are they should first bring back my stuff and then second turn around and march right back into kindergarten and pay attention to that whole part about BEING NICE.

There are many levels on which this incident just plain sucks but right now I am the most bummed about the fact that I had some really really cute photos of Ray on my phone.

To whomever you are, mystery thief, I hope Santa puts a big lump of coal in your stocking.

high tolerance

2008-11-14T13:46:00.000-08:00

good one today from story people

What are you good at? I said & she said, Mainly life. I work best with stuff that has a high tolerance for mistakes.

rewind

2008-11-12T22:22:00.000-08:00

I re-read my blog.

Sometimes when I need to relax and 'check out' for a few I just sit back and read what I've written. I love being able to do this. I can transport myself right back to that moment in time and relive it all over again.

I'm particularly fond of that last quote. It resonates so deeply with my life right now. Somedays I still find myself forcing things and just pushing and pushing. This quote reminds me to slow down and take it easy. Enjoy these moments.

~:~:~:~

Life's been a little too hectic lately. My german shepherd, Gretta attacked another one of our dogs and he had to be taken to the ER too. Now he's got drains and stitches and antibiotics, the whole kit and caboodle. That's two dogs within 2 weeks taken to the ER vet. Two fights I've had to break up and 2 dogs I've had to mend. The worst part is that now I am petrified. Gretta went after my lab Lucky again today and immediately I felt my adrenaline surge. My brother broke the fight up but I felt wiped out and weak after it was over. This last fight between her and Charlie took a lot out of me. I still have bad dreams about it.

There's been way too much adrenaline in my life lately.

I actually feel a little like there's too much electricity in my body, if that makes any sense.

The brightly shining star in all of this has been my brother. He's been staying with us for a couple of weeks and helping us out around the house. He's cut down all the dead trees on our property and helped trim back the good ones. He's also taken on the (ginormous) project of fixing the 'free' hot tub. I'm very happy to report that it is no longer leaking, there are bubbly bubbles and it's a nice steamy temperature of 105 degrees. I'm hoping the hot tub will counteract all of the adrenaline and stress and bring a little zen back into my life.

Just looking at it is already calming so I know it's bound to be a lifesaver.

There was an intriguing post over at superhero the other day. She was writing about labyrinths

and after I read the post I did a quick search and found 3 labyriths, right here in my backyard!

I'd like to take a day this week and go walk at least one of them.

I'll let you know what I find.

breakthrough

2008-11-06T21:27:00.000-08:00

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

--Theodore Roosevelt

delightful

2008-10-27T22:54:00.000-07:00

divide and conquer

2008-10-27T21:20:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling very abstract today.

Everyday really.

I can't seem to pin anything down, make any progress. I feel like I'm wading through wet concrete. It's deeper than just my daily life, like spiritually I'm stuck. I'm feeling no greater purpose and I'm sure as hell not seeing any grande plan.

I feel like I need a jump start. A quick shock of inspiration.

I'm trying to narrow my focus, eliminate the riff raff, but I feel swamped.

Imagine this:

I feel like I am treading water in a pool filled with receipts and little scraps of paper and every time I move my arms and kick my legs I get covered in these wet sticky bits. If I stop treading, the water calms, the pieces float on by, and slowly I sink to the bottom...

ooh, analyze that one.

drinking it all in

2008-10-26T09:57:00.000-07:00

great quote over at superhero journal this morning:

“This is the true joy in life, to be used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one, to be thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap. To be a force of nature instead of a feverish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am a member of a community and as a member it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can before I die. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch that I want to make burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”

-George Bernard Shaw

and another great one from my brother:

"time is relative...

Time and space combine to form space-time, and everyone measures his or her own experience in it differently because the speed of light is the same for all observers. In other words, if all observers have to agree on the speed of light being 300,000 km per second, then they can't agree on the time it takes for other objects to travel relative to them." - Einstein's theory of relativity.

your day can take as long as you want."

(thanks tay)

you , me and the tv

2008-10-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

I hate it when all of my days start to blur together.

I really hate it when I start memorizing tv schedules.

Lately I find myself feeling frustrated and bored at the same time. When this used to happen I'd spend 2 days cleaning and rearranging my studio from top to bottom and as much as I would achingly love to do this, I'm afraid that is no longer possible.

I'm learning that a lot of the things I used to enjoy are just no longer possible. It's a tough pill to swallow. One of my biggest gripes these days is that I can't seem to finish anything. I've learned how to work on things piece by piece, each pause punctuated with breastfeeding, dishes, laundry, diapers and fussing, but I cannot for the life of me seem to finish anything.

On a brighter side, little Ray bear is truly a joy to be around. He giggles and babbles and keeps me entertained. I think that's where the root of my frustration comes from, not from the giggles and babbles, but from my ingrained definition of the word accomplishment.

Does a long day being a mom count as much as a long day working a job for someone else?

Mommy-ness doesn't pay those crisp green bills but in my opinion every one of it's rewards blow those little pieces of paper out of the water.

So why can't I convince myself that every day is an accomplishment in itself?

read me

2008-10-24T22:17:00.000-07:00

a good story for stressful times

from storypeople

"My grandfather used to come home from work & he'd stomp twice on the porch with his big boots & he'd say, It's time to be afraid & we'd start screaming & my sister hid behind the piano & I'd hide in the hall closet that smelled like moth balls & it would get very quiet & then he would say, Now, it's time to be very afraid & then we'd start laughing & he'd drag us out, one under each arm, & give us toffee & chocolates & to this day whenever someone says it's time to be afraid, I scream for a little while like everybody else, but I'm really just waiting for the treats"

my favorite sandwich

2008-10-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

Take two pieces of your favorite bread.

Toast lightly.

Spread peanut butter all over one piece of bread.

Slice 8 slices of your favorite apple and put these on top of the peanut butter.

Take 4 pieces of crispy bacon and place them on top of the apple slices.

Drizzle both slices of bread with honey.

Smush the two halves together gently until you hear the slight crunch of the bacon.

Enjoy.

dog eat dog

2008-10-22T12:48:00.000-07:00

As you can imagine, life with 5 dogs can be hectic at times.

We have 2 females and 3 males; 4 black labs and 1 german shepherd.

Rain is never good (and it's been raining), our floors get trashed in two minutes flat. I already have to vacuum every other day to keep the hair under control and rain brings in the mud. Well, to add to the chaos our two females have started fighting.

Lucky is originally my dog. She is probably 8 years old by now. (I never really knew, she was a rescue.) She is a full breed English Black Lab. Shorter and stockier than her American counter-parts. Her size and shape comes from being bred to pull nets out of the ocean and up the beach. It's a long story (which you can read here) but I found her with a broken leg, had her all fixed up and she's been my girl ever since. We've been through a lot together and she truly is my best friend.

Gretta is a full breed German Shepherd. She is about 4 years old. Gretta was the last piece in a nasty divorce. Her previous owners couldn't decide who got to have her so they went to the vet to have her put to sleep. Luckily one of my husband's friends worked at that vet clinic and told them that no one was going to put her to sleep and took her home. She knew my husband had lots of land and called and asked him if he could take her. So she became dog number 3 for my husband. Gretta is a wonderful dog but we all agree that she may have a screw loose. She is very hyperactive and a little bit of a handful from time to time. When she is quiet and calm she is very loving and sweet.

So. for the past two months or so Gretta has started picking on Lucky. When she gets really excited, ever since I've known her, she would put Mick's (the skinny black lab mix) head in her mouth. I always imagined her saying "oh my god, oh my god, I'm. just. so. excited!" Well now she makes a bee-line for Lucky and starts "dominating" her. She bites her (not hard) and forces her to the ground where she stands on top of her and bites her some more.

In the beginning It scared me so bad to see this and I would break up the fight however I could. Which usually meant throwing rocks at Gretta. So for the past couple weeks I have been trying to ignore them and let them do their dominance thing and it seemed like Gretta had won and everything was fine.

Until today.

I was walking back from the studio to the house when Gretta made a bee-line for Lucky. No big deal, I thought just ignore them. Well, this time Gretta was more aggressive than usual and Lucky started to cry. I yelled at her to stop but she wouldn't give it up so I ran inside and put the baby down. Ran back outside and Lucky was still crying only now Bob had joined in and had bit Lucky on the leg and was pulling on it. I lost it and started yelling at the two of them. As soon as I yelled at Bob he quit and backed away but Gretta wouldn't stop so I threw rocks at her again and as soon as she let go Lucky ran inside.

Based on the way Bob was acting I think he just got caught up in the moment and went a little too far but the fact that they wouldn't stop when she started crying worries me. What if I leave one day and come back to find her seriously hurt, or worse dead?

So for now they are separated.

Talk about an adrenaline rush...

I'm still recovering.

you can dress me up, but you can't...

2008-10-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

I need a new wardrobe.

The final episode of Project Runway was last night followed by Tim Gunn's Guide to Style.

I finally stopped watching tv at 1am and went to bed grumpy and exhausted. Baby Ray and I had walked all over downtown FC putting up posters for my craft show. (by the way, I'm putting together a craft show) We were out for about 3 hours of straight walking (and he now weighs 16 lbs) I was pretty tired.

Anyway, back to my clothes.

I've never claimed to be a fashionista but I do remember a time when I thought of myself as fashionable. I used to sew my own clothes and I even owned 40 different pairs of shoes. Now I wear hand-me-downs and have 5 different colors of chuck taylors. I don't want to be uber-hip or trendy, I would just like to be able to wake up, go to my closet and have to choose what to wear, rather than stare blankly at my closet wishing an inspired thought would enter my brain.

I have been sewing some cute clothes lately but unfortunately they are not breast feeding friendly. I guess the trade off for getting my figure back is needing to worry about whether I can easily whip out my boob or not.

At the bottom of it all, I think being a momma has left me with this deep worry that now I look like a "mom". Which to me means tired, out of touch, and well, frumpy. Minivans and mom-jeans, you know? Or even Suburbans and soccer gear...

I know I need to change that view. My momma never looked like that, in fact I totally admire her sense of style. I guess I really just want some clothes that make me feel like a beautiful woman. Not like a college student, not like a little girl, not lazy or clueless, but something that would grace the pages of anthropologie.

Well, here's to wishing.

reconstructed books

2008-10-08T20:38:00.000-07:00

New artwork!

I took a workshop last weekend at the artist's nook. The teacher, um... not so great. No offense, but she was very eager to talk about herself and her accomplishments. That's almost all she talked about. Not exactly as spiritual as the last workshop. Actually everyone left by 3:00 (headaches and long drives were to blame). So I had 2 hours all to myself to just make art. Now that was lovely.

not too sure about this one. made on a book cover with other book covers and spines. colors are good, just not a huge fan of the style of illustration.

antique and vintage book covers ad spines, protractor found taped inside the back cover of a vintage surveying book. handwritten notes. I'm not sure if this one is finished yet...

first collage finished. Love it. My favorite. Four thousand questions and answers. antique brass stencil, book covers and spines.

second collage. I love this one too. book parts and an old handwritten note found in a children's book. vintage sewing pattern

2008-10-08T20:37:00.000-07:00

in honor of fall

2008-10-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

crunchy leaves

red tips and green grass

empty branches

bright pumpkins

warm soup

my favorite pair of jeans

a good beer at the end of the day

thin, crisp light

cool nights and warm afternoons

laundry hanging on the line

sweet smell of wood smoke drifting in my windows

sweet family

2008-10-05T15:05:00.001-07:00

ah love <3

the internet is like crack

2008-10-05T11:15:00.000-07:00

As most of you know I have a love hate relationship with the internet.

I love how I can find answers right when I have a question, I love how I can research and learn new things, I love being able to 'meet' and talk with new people. I love being able to browse through things that I'd never buy/be able to afford and honestly, sometimes, I do like how I can completely 'check out' when I'm surfing the net.

It reminds me of when my husband is watching 'the worlds worst videos mixed martial art cops' show.

"what do you want for dinner?"

"huh?"

"what do you want for dinner?"

"mm hmm"

"oh, you want fish? (he hates fish)

"....." (no answer)

"ok fish it is!"

(Ha hA! I actually played this one on him the other night and surprise surprise he actually liked the fish! )

Anyway my point was that sometimes real life is just so much better.

Lately my life has been so good that I haven't had the urge to be online, so I'm sorry about the lack of posts. Here's the skinny on the whats and whys:

~I'm planning a local craft fair for this holiday season. (If I can't find time to make things myself, maybe I can help others sell their things)

~I am actually selling more things locally than online (always a good feeling)

~We switched to cloth diapers. (yay no more stinky landfill waste)

~I'm landscaping and planning out my new garden area. (super excited about this one)

~I am a composter. (you wouldn't believe how much longer it takes to fill our trash can now)

~We now recycle. (same as above)

~And we actually own half of a dairy cow and are now drinking raw milk. (the most delicious thing ever)

Ooh.. That last one may be taboo but I did my research and this milk is cleaner and is tested more than regular grocery store milk. It still has all of it's healthy enzymes and probiotics (and because of this, my lactose-intolerant husband can drink it). It also has more vitamin C than a glass of orange juice, not to mention all of the vitamin D and calcium.

This dairy is awesome. Through them I also have access to handmade cheeses and of course anything else dairy (yogurt, creme, cottage cheese..) I also can get 100% grass fed beef and pork. I'm in hog heaven.

So anyway, last but not least, my brother is coming to visit soon and that always makes me happy. He's my best friend and I can't wait to see him.

*wishing you happiness and sunny fall days*

props to the moms, yo

2008-09-19T12:38:00.000-07:00

Back when I was taking my prenatal yoga class, there was a core group of about 5 of us that were always there, others would come and go, but we were all due right around the same time. Well, now that we've all had our babies we still get together and hang out.

It's been fun watching the other babies grow and listening to everyone's ideas and concerns. I'm much more of a listener in those kinds of situations and that's probably ok because most of the time I feel like I think about things that most other people don't.

But if there ever was a moment for me to speak up and be heard I would want to tell everyone that I think we are all doing a wonderful job.

So many of the moms are worried about this and afraid to do that and I just sit back and think "Well, I'd never really thought to be concerned about that" I think I walk away each week feeling even better about the choices I make and the way we are 'raising' this little man. Life's too short to be worried about what your doctor said versus what her doctor said.

Maybe I'm too lax. But I'd rather be accused of being too laid back than being too uptight any day. Anyway, my point is that no matter how we are all raising our babies, we are all raising our babies and that is good enough.

paring down and zooming in

2008-09-16T19:35:00.000-07:00

Super Duper Sale at Junk Envy

I'm clearing out everything. Junk Envy will remain until the junk is all gone and then it will be no more. I have much more fun finding really really really cool stuff and keeping it rather than finding really cool stuff and trying to sell it. I hope you can understand.

There's going to be more woobie joobie swip swappery but not yet.

I'll keep you posted!

grumble

2008-09-16T11:45:00.000-07:00

I'm a little grouchy today.

No particular reason just a general sense of blah.

I think I'll go bake something.

one hell of a morning

2008-09-13T09:41:00.000-07:00

timeline:

wake up

ray giggles for the second time (so cute)

hands still burning from cutting jalapenos last night

baby poops on bed

change diaper

put baby in play yard

sweep up all the dirt on the floor from the rain + dogs last night

momma realizes she hasn't had a shower in weeks

dogs run outside and bring wet dirt back into the house

feed dogs

kick dogs out

daddy leaves for fire academy class

momma thinks hmm.. shower with baby! we'll both be clean

wash the little armpits, wash the little bum

feed baby in shower

wrap baby in big fluffy towel

lay baby on bathroom floor with favorite toy

momma relaxes in the hot, hot water

smoke detectors go off

momma turns off the water, jumps out of shower with soap in her hair, runs across the house and flips the breaker (but smoke alarms are too smart for that - must remove batteries as well)

jump up on living room chair pop out battery #1

momma can barely reach alarm number 2

jump up swat at battery compartment

battery flies out and hits me squarely in the middle of the forehead (ouch)

jump back in the shower

baby still happy

finish shower

dress baby

dress momma

put baby in swing

momma makes coffee and french toast

feed baby

momma eats breakfast

check email

post to blog

stare blankly at computer trying to think of what to write next

decide to end post and go buy more fabric dye

feed baby

Jesus and I

2008-09-13T09:35:00.000-07:00

I am absolutely in love with today's story:

"Loose guidelines for living: Part I

#3 Just think to yourself: "what would Jesus do?" & if you don't like the answer, try again with a slight variation: "what would Jesus do if he were in your shoes & had all those bills & he was used to all the perks of being an American, too? Would he do it any different?" & usually the answer is No. (magic religious 8 ball)

depth of field

2008-09-11T22:17:00.000-07:00

I think about making money a lot.

More than I'd like to admit.

I find myself either spending time doing things or not doing things based on whether or not there's any profit involved. Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't be more successful if I followed my heart and did what I felt like doing regardless.

If only I could make money for all of the time I spend thinking about money.

The changing of the seasons always seems to bring about reflection and reevaluation. I like to take a personal inventory and do a little priority check. My big question lately is what am I meant to do? Other people just seem to know.

Lately, I have no idea.

I feel like I'm always going in a million directions, pulling and pushing this way and that. Giving up on this to accomplish that. I'm running four different etsy stores, selling things locally and somedays I wake up and I don't want to do any of it. I know why I do so many different things, so that I don't get bored, but maybe if I focused on just one or two things I might grow and evolve in whatever medium that might be. Then I could just let the others fade into the background.

I guess the only thing I know right now is that I love being a mom. I look forward to going to bed just because it means that I get to wake up the next morning, see that little boy's killer smile and do it all over again.

small notes before sleep

2008-09-10T21:41:00.000-07:00

I'd like to forever remember how good it feels when ray looks at me and smiles.

I'd like to try to be a little more positive when interacting with the general public.

I think I would like to finish reading a book.

I will try to pick up after myself in hopes of keeping a semi-clean house (I mean 5 dogs. come on, how clean can it really be?)

Lets all try to be a little more understanding and patient with one another.

Most importantly, I vow to make dessert at least once a week.

shadows and light

2008-09-10T21:27:00.000-07:00

maturity is overrated

2008-09-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

There are a few places that for me are completely saturated in personal history. I can't comfortably visit these towns without feeling somewhat oppressed by the memories.

I found myself in one of these towns yesterday. Baby Ray needed to change his stinky pants and momma needed a cupppa joe for the road. I debated stopping because there was (always is) a good chance that I could run into some people I don't necessarily want to see. But I was feeling particularly mature so I decided to stop. (I even imagined the pride I might feel introducing them to my son). Anyway, diaper changed, coffee bought and no chance encounter.

I felt for lack of a better word, proud.

I faced my fear and felt like I had finally made peace with this town.

Then I saw the police sirens flashing in my rearview mirror.

You no-good, piece of junk of a town.

Four points and $80 later I left feeling a little gypped.