Saturday, October 25, 2008

you , me and the tv


I hate it when all of my days start to blur together. 
I really hate it when I start memorizing tv schedules.

Lately I find myself feeling frustrated and bored at the same time. When this used to happen I'd spend 2 days cleaning and rearranging my studio from top to bottom and as much as I would achingly love to do this, I'm afraid that is no longer possible. 

I'm learning that a lot of the things I used to enjoy are just no longer possible. It's a tough pill to swallow. One of my biggest gripes these days is that I can't seem to finish anything. I've learned how to work on things piece by piece, each pause punctuated with breastfeeding, dishes, laundry, diapers and fussing, but I cannot for the life of me seem to finish anything.

On a brighter side, little Ray bear is truly a joy to be around. He giggles and babbles and keeps me entertained. I think that's where the root of my frustration comes from, not from the giggles and babbles, but from my ingrained definition of the word accomplishment. 

Does a long day being a mom count as much as a long day working a job for someone else? 

Mommy-ness doesn't pay those crisp green bills but in my opinion every one of it's rewards blow those little pieces of paper out of the water. 

So why can't I convince myself that every day is an accomplishment in itself?

xo

3 comments:

Jenny said...

What you do is kiss those sweet baby cheeks and cherish those happy baby smiles. That sparkle in your baby's eyes means the world. He is a miracle and a gift. Enjoy it today and worry about everything else tomorrow!!

Anonymous said...

time is relative...

Time and space combine to form space-time, and everyone measures his or her own experience in it differently because the speed of light is the same for all observers. In other words, if all observers have to agree on the speed of light being 300,000 km per second, then they can't agree on the time it takes for other objects to travel relative to them." - Einstein's theory of relativity.

your day can take as long as you want.

i love you whit.

basta said...

Of course, you are working for someone else, the most important "someone else" there is, and he couldn't possibly do it without you! Everyday, then, is a great day. And the studio will happily be there whenever you want, for however long you need.